My Month in Pictures

October is quite possibly my favourite month of the year. There's my birthday, halloween and the changing of the leaves, the crisp, clean, fresh air. So, this is my month in pictures. Well, my favourite pictures from October. Enjoy 🎃

Autumn Haul!

This is one of those rare occurances were I managed to buy enough crap to write a haul. This probably won't happen much, so enjoy this while it lasts.
Okay, so in this haul, I have products from Superdrug, River Island, Primark New Look, and H&M.

All of the products I mention will be linked at the bottom of the post. And, can I just say, I am beyond happy that Primark finally has a website worth going on! I mean, it's taken them long enough but they finally have a website that lists more than 5 of their products. It's amazing, I actually went on there before to see if I could find a t-shirt to go with a skirt that I bought this morning.

Okay, so my first stop was River Island. Now normally this shop is too expensive for me but, I was after a new bag and river island bags are just a thing of sheer beauty! Okay, so I went in there with two bags in mind, both look the exact same except one is faux leather and the other was faux sued. I did want the faux sued one but they didn't have it (typical & just my luck). But I guess it doesn't matter because they are identical in appearance and cost the exact same - which is £25. I can't find the faux leather bag on the website anymore so I have linked the faux sued one at the bottom of this post.

I then went into Superdrug and got myself some new (and much needed) make-up. 

The first I did when I went into the store was pick up a Real Techniques Miracle Complexion Sponge. I have owned a beauty blender in the past and really not liked it but, this, it is amazing. My foundation goes on so beautifully when I use it and it gives such a flawless finish and it is definitely something I will repurchase. It cost £5.99.
One of the main things I wanted to get were lipsticks and I found myself completely drawn to the L'Oreal Colour Riche Collection Privée range, all of the colours in the range are gorgeous, but when I went into superdrug, they were on 3 for 2, so I picked up three gorgeous shades of red - Blake, Julianne and Liya. All three shades I have worn to death since I bought them. They are such beautiful colours with amazing pigmentation. There are however, downsides. One being that they are super drying, so make sure you apply lip balm before you apply the lipstick. The other downside is that the staying power is not the best. I found myself reapplying it so often that it was rather irritating. But, that was when I was wearing it all day. So, maybe it would be better for a night out or an event that is only going to last a couple of hours. Other than those two faults, they're gorgeous lipsticks that I will most likely re-purchase. Individually, each lipstick costs £6.99.
The main thing I have been in dire need for, for months is a new foundation. When I buy foundation, I always buy one I've never had before, so this time, I decided to pick up L'Oreal True Match Foundation in the shade Rose Vanilla. Which, since buying it and using a few times, I think is actually just a tad too dark for me but, it's a really nice foundation and goes on like silk. And, even better, I can barely tell I'm wearing foundation when I have it on, it leaves the skin feeling slightly sticky/tacky but, after a couple of minutes, it sets really nicely and leaves the skin feeling really smooth. It cost £9.99.
The next thing I picked up was a product I had heard so many great things about and pretty much every female youtuber I watch has raved about at some point in the last year or so. So, I picked one up and I can honestly say, it definitely deserves the hype that surrounds it. And, that product is the Maybelline Age Rewind Eraser Eye Concealer. I bought it in the shade Light and it gives such a beautiful lift for under the eye and literally brightens up the face. And, considering it only costs £7.99, you get a pretty amazing product for the price.
The last two products I picked up were the Maybelline Lash Sensational and the Maybelline Eye Studio Master Precise Liner. The mascara is amazing. I have seen it compared to the Benefit Rollar Lash and now that I own them both, I'd definitely say it deserves that comparison. It makes my eyelashes look so long and full at a fraction of the price of the benefit one. It only costs £7.99. The eyeliner, is pretty darn good, which if I'm being completely honest, I wasn't expecting it to be. I also wasn't expecting it to be an actual liquid eyeliner, I thought it was just a pen liner, but nope, it's a proper liquid liner. Which did take some getting used to - it's been a while since I've had to wait for my liner to dry, considering I've used a gel liner for the past year. I can honestly though, I will most likely re-purchase this eye liner. It is definitely worth the price considering it costs £5.99.

After being after a new parka for a few months, finding the perfect one in Primark was just a dream. The coat cost £35 - which for a parka, is pretty darn amazing. And, I know Primark has this reputation of being a clothes shop that sells shit quality clothing. Which, might well be true for some of the clothes but this coat, it is beautiful. The (faux) fur is so soft and the coat itself is the perfect thickness - keeps me nice and cozy on cold days.

So from New Look, I picked up these absolutely gorgeous boots. I had been after a pair of boots like this for a couple of weeks and wanted a pair last year as well but never found any. But anyway, I saw a pair in Primark for £20, which I thought was pretty good but I wanted a pair that were going to be comfier and last a bit longer so I had a look around and found these from New Look which are completely identical to the ones that Primark are currently selling. You can also get them in tan and maroon and I will most likely go back and get a pair of the tan ones as they will look gorgeous with a pair of blue jeans and a nice jumper and scarf. But, right now I just wanted a pair that goes with everything and I've literally lived in them since I got them. I've found myself coming up with excuses just to leave the flat just so that I can wear them. I got these for £27.99. Unfortunately, I ordered my pair in store and they told me I got the last pair, so they aren't on the website any more, but, they do have a pair similar for a little bit more money so I will link that pair below.

The last item I picked a skirt that I saw in Lucy and Lydia's video this morning. (Which I will also link below) As soon as I saw this skirt, I knew I just had to have it. It's not really something I would normally go for but I don't know, I just felt so drawn to it. Lately I have wanted to dress more "girly", and I felt this would be the perfect thing to help me achieve that. However, now that I have it, I have no idea what to wear with it (So any advice on that would be much appreciated). The original price of the skirt is £29.99 which is definitely not a price I would normally pay for a skirt, but, it is currently on sale for £20. Which is pretty good. So, I went in store to pick it up, and they only had one left and it was my size. And, it had a £10 sale sticker on it. So, I managed to get that amazing skirt for £10.

Anyway, that is the end of this one. I hope you enjoyed it. All products mentioned will be listed below. Goodbye! xoxo

Products Mentioned:
River Island Bag - http://www.riverisland.com/women/bags--purses/cross-body-bags/black-suedette-cross-body-tassel-handbag-666080
Real Techniques Miracle Complexion Sponge - http://www.superdrug.com/Real-Techniques/Real-Techniques-Miracle-Complexion-Sponge/p/742258#.Vifp5X6rTIU
L'Oreal Colour Riche Collection Privée Blake - http://www.superdrug.com/L%27Oreal-Paris/L%27oreal-Colour-Riche-Collection-Priv%C3%A9e-Red-Lipstick-Blake/p/314611#.Vifkon6rTIU
L'Oreal Colour Riche Collection Privée Julianne - http://www.superdrug.com/L%27Oreal-Paris/L%27oreal-Colour-Riche-Collection-Priv%C3%A9e-Red-Lipstick-Julianne/p/314618#.Vifkpn6rTIU
L'Oreal Colour Riche Collection Privée Liya - http://www.superdrug.com/L%27Oreal-Paris/L%27oreal-Colour-Riche-Collection-Priv%C3%A9e-Red-Lipstick-Liya/p/314619#.Vifkq36rTIU
L'Oreal True Match Foundation - http://www.superdrug.com/Make-Up/Face/Foundation/L%27Oreal-True-Match-Foundation-Rose-Vanilla/p/546204
Maybelline Age Rewind Eraser Eye Concealer - http://www.superdrug.com/Maybelline/-Maybelline-Age-Rewind-Eraser-Eye-Concealer-Light/p/654050#.VifwcH6rTIU
Maybelline Lash Sensational - http://www.superdrug.com/Make-Up/Eyes/Mascara/-Maybelline-Lash-Sensational-Mascara-Very-Black-1/p/348705#.Vif2gn6rTIU
Maybelline Eye Studio Master Precise - http://www.superdrug.com/Maybelline/Maybelline-Eye-Studio-Master-Precise-Liner-Black/p/355050
Primark Parka  - http://www.primark.com/en/product/olive-faux-fur-lined-parka-coat,R35397117114818
New Look boots - http://www.newlook.com/shop/shoe-gallery/view-all-boots/black-knit-cuff-lace-up-boots-_349628301
Lucy and Lydia's video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykvPm0Rv6L8
H&M Textured Skirt - http://www.hm.com/gb/product/00366?article=00366-I

My September favourites!

Okay, okay, I missed September. I didn't post at all. I did however, have a monthly favourites planned out but never had the time to actually finish it. So, I'm going to post it now.

Okay, so the weather was pretty toasty throughout September so I didn't wear much makeup - who really wants to sweat off their foundation an hour after putting it on though, really? - But, the makeup I did wear, I treasured.

The main thing I loved throughout September was the "Archery Brow Tint and Precision Shaping Pencil" by Soap and Glory in the shade "Brownie Points" (Find it here!). I know, I know, this same product was in my last monthly favourites, but, surely that just shows how much I love it? There is however, a difference in the reason why I love it this time around. Last month, I was all about the tint side to it - but, that was mainly because my pencil side was dried out when I took it out of it's box. However, since then, I have cut off the tip of the pencil and tried it again, and it works beautifully. It goes on so smoothly and gives such a lovely finish, and you really can get such a "natural" look (or as close to natural you can get when you're drawing over them) with it. I have been using both the pencil and the tint this month, sometimes accompanied with a matte brown powder for more definition and my brows come out perfectly every time. I really do highly rate this product and I don't think I'll be using anything else for a very long time. 

Another product that I've raved on about previously is the Benefit Rollar Lash (You can find it here!). This mascara is without a doubt the best mascara I have ever used. It definitely is worth the extra money - as it definitely is more than what I would normally pay for a mascara - but, the cost of it is also the reason why I probably won't be buying it again for a long time. (I am currently on the hunt for a cheaper dupe for it though so if anyone has any recommendations then let me know!!) But this mascara really does do everything that it says it does, my lashes look a lot longer when I use it as oppose to when I use a normal mascara, and I no longer need to use an eyelash curler before I apply my mascara because of how much it curls the lashes. It really is just an amazing product and if you have £20 to spend on a mascara, then I do highly recommend you check it out.

Painting my nails is something that I usually skip doing because I absolutely HATE doing it. I love having pretty nails, but waiting for the polish to dry is so tedious so when I can, I normally buy some elegant touch nails and glue them on (then pick them off a week later, but that's not the point). But, in September, I picked up a gorgeous nail polish by Essie called fifth avenue (you can find it here!). It is the most beautiful orange-red shade, and it glides onto the nail so nicely and dries pretty quickly as well (which is a bonus in anyone's book, let's be honest). It is literally the only colour I wore on my nails throughout al of September and I will probably be wearing it throughout October as well, it is just so pretty!  

Okay, lipsticks are my staple, I cannot go without a lipstick and 9 times out of 10, I have a lipstick in my bag no matter where I'm going. I usually wear red/berry toned lipsticks but, a couple of months ago, I picked up two nude shades. One of which, doesn't suit me at all, the other, I have been wearing every day throughout August and September. And, that lipstick is Rimmel Kate Moss in the Shade 3 (Find this beauty, here!). This lipstick is gorgeous brown/nude shade, it is so creamy and lasts pretty darn well considering it only costs £5.50. It is such a lovely every day lipstick, that you could wear to basically anything, any occasion, whether that is going to a wedding or just popping to the shop for a loaf. And, not gonna lie, it makes you feel pretty great too because of how gorgeous it looks on. 

Okay, onto non-beauty items. Let's start with TV. I binge watched so many netflix shows throughout September it's actually pretty embarrassing but, the shows I did love watching are gossip girl and the us office (which has sadly been removed from UK netflix now *sad face*). Gossip Girl has been such an unhealthy obsession that it genuinely did start to worry me. It genuinely got to the point were I had to stop watching it because I had gotten too obsessed (being serious, I had watched 38 episodes in 8 days), but, I literally adore this show. I still haven't finished watching it but that is mainly because I moved back to uni and have had to spend most of my time doing work and attempting to socialise (and I've been binging more shows, ngl). And, The US Office. There are not many shows out there that are just my sense of humour (But, I'm more than happy to add to the list if anyone has any comedy show suggestions), the shows that are currently on that list though are: friends, scrubs, modern family, how I met your mother, parks and recreation and now, the US office. Watching this TV show is like watching my sense of humour splurge out onto a screen. It's sheer brilliance, I'm so glad I found it and I never want to be without it.

Okay, in terms of Youtube, the Youtuber I've enjoyed watching the most is VelvetGh0st. Her personality is a ray of sunshine. It's so refreshing to watch someone who is truly herself in both her vlogs and her main channel videos. Her vlogs are really lovely to watch. It's so nice seeing a youtuber just sit around and be themself to a camera, even if all they're doing is sitting watching netflix all day. it's real and it's lovely to watch. Check out gabby on both of her channels if you haven't already
Her Main Channel

Her Vlog Channel

Okay, music wise, I didn't really listen to anything different in September from what I listened to in August. However, the one thing I did listen to is WILD by Troye Sivan. That song is just sheer perfection. I absolutely adore it. Check it out if you haven't already! Here's the music video!

The last thing that I can wholeheartedly say that I enjoyed doing in September was long walks through parks and forests and taking beautiful pictures of nature. I did it so many times and those days are my best memories of the month.

Okay, so that was the longest monthly favourites I've ever done. I hope you all enjoyed reading it. Feel free to follow me on my many social media! I have a couple of posts planned out for the next few weeks so hopefully, I will have the time to actually write them and upload them for you guys!
 xoxo.

Day out at the park

So I recently took a trip to a local park, and some of the pictures I took there are so beautiful. Photography is something I used to really enjoy but I stopped having time for it when I went to college, but, three years later, I have rekindled my love. My favourite thing to take pictures of is definitely nature, it's always so beautiful, no matter the time of day or weather. So go ahead, and enjoy the beauty that is nature.

These two pictures, I am so happy with how they turned out, these flowers looked so petite and pretty, I just had to take pictures.

Purple used to be one of my favourite colours, So these flowers really stood out to me.- they're so pretty.

I'm not completely sure why, but I was so drawn to this tree, which might sound odd but, I just thought it looked absolutely beautiful surrounded by these gorgeous purple wildflowers.

This lake was so beautiful, both times I have visited, I have gotten some pretty amazing pictures, this one was my favourite out of them all though.

These were the friendliest swans I have ever came across, They came so close and were not phased at all by the three dogs I had with me.

My bad bleach experience

Thursday 3rd September:

Okay, so I had a deep mahogany red with a purple undertone colour hair and I decided that I wanted a change before I started my second year of university. So I went to the shop and bought the same hair bleach that I always use and I went home. That night, I bleached my hair. I got my mum to do it so that my whole head would be covered evenly and she put the bleach on the same way it's always done and it was left on my hair for the same length of time I always leave it on for, however when it came to washing the bleach out, I found that large clumps of my hair was falling out. Now I have bleached my hair a couple of times in the past and this has never happened before so needless to say, I freaked out. My hair wasn't washing properly because all of the shampoo and conditioner was clinging to the hair that was falling out. So when I finally gave up, I went downstairs and sat in the kitchen. When my mum came in, I burst into tears and told her what had happened. My parents have been amazing through this. Which to anyone, might not seem like a big deal, but for me, someone who has fine, hair, and not much of it, it was a huge deal. I have lost large tufts of hair. And the only long parts left are all at the back.

So yeah, my mum. She was amazing, she combed through my hair to remove any loose hair that was left and told me to go and wash it again. When I came back down, my dad was gone and she told me she had gotten in touch with my auntie - who is a hairdresser - and that my dad had gone out to buy the keratin shampoo and conditioner my auntie told her that my hair needs. Yeah, I will be doing a review on the products that he bought me because be came back with a bag full of different things. 

But anyway, while i'm writing this (which won't be the day this is posted), it's the next day and I have sat in my pyjamas l day, putting keratin oil and conditioner in my hair every couple of hours to help give my hair back some moisture and strength. I have to admit that although this may seem small, and not a huge thing to anyone, it is to me. I l have not been able to look in a mirror without wanting go cry. My appearance is literally making me feel sick. I'm currently trying to pluck up the confidence to put actual clothes on and some makeup and be able to look in the mirror. And i'm also trying to build up the confidence to ask my auntie to come and cut my hair off. Because I want it all gone - which isn't just because of this, I wanted it all gone anyway, I just want more of it gone now. 

I just want to not feel repulsed anymore. I was only just getting comfortable wit my appearance and then it got knocked away. And I honestly have no idea what to do with myself. I refuse to leave the house. And would rather spend all day on my own and not see anyone. Because explaining to people why my hair looks the way it does and why I look depressed is just too much for me to handle. I have cancelled all plans that I had made because I can't bare to see anyone. 

Friday 11th September:

Okay, so it's now a week and a few days later and I figured I would write everything that happened in the last week in one post instead of doing an update everyday. 

So, the friday after half my hair fell out was the first day I washed it. I used the TRESemme Keratin Smooth shampoo and Conditioner  to wash my hair with. I did not use a hairdryer as I didn't want to further damage my hair, but, I did put the TRESemme Kertain Smooth heat protection spray in my hair to add more kertain to aid my hair in repairing, I then put the OGX Anti-Breakage Kertain Oil Instant Repair Weightless Healing  Oil  in my hair for added protection and to aid repairing. - I repeated this two days later. 

Monday 7th September: 

This was the first day that I braved the outdoors and the only way I managed it was because I hid all of my hair in a beanie - and because after two washes, most of the red patches in my hair had faded. So I hopped on a bus and visited my friends that live an hour away - This day also happened to be a day that the UK weather decided it wanted to pretend it was still the middle of summer, needless to say, I melted - especially with that beanie on. 

Tuesday 8th September: 

This was a pretty great day. I shoved all of my hair in a ponytail and took the dogs on a three hour walk - I will be making a blog post full of my pictures from this day and another day I spent exploring the same place as I got some pretty incredible pictures on both days. After the walk, I went to the hairdressers and got all of my hair cut off. Meaning that the majority of dead hair is now gone and I couldn't be happier - I also have a post coming up all about my hair transformation, so look out for that!

Wednesday 9th September: 

This was two days ago now, and on this day, I went out and bought this hair dye. It definitely didn't turn out as dark as I had hoped but, it came out okay and I will be dying it a darker brown in a few weeks but, I want to allow my hair a few weeks rest from any damage to give it a chance to repair itself as much as possible.  

So, that's it! If anyone has ANY tips on repairing damaged hair then please do let me know and I will be forever in your dept! 

xoxo  

My monthly favourites

It's that time of month again were I blabber on about the things I've really enjoyed this month. And, I forget to post these every single month so if I remember to publish this, someone needs to buy me some ice creme. 
Okay, this month has been lovely. The weather has been nice, I've gained a tan - which, might I add, never happens so that is a glorious achievement in itself. 

okay, so the things I've loved this month. 

Beauty 

I have always used a plain old brown powder on my eyebrows, but this month, I invested in the Soap and Glory Archery Brow Tint and Pencil and I have to say, it's brilliant. It makes my brows look so beautiful, and you can get your brows to look really natural by just using the pen end and doing small brush strokes, but the pencil end adds such definition that makes your brows just stand out. 

I have absolutely loved wearing a nude colour on my lips  and the lipstick I have been loving is the Rimmel Kate Moss in the shade Number 3. It is a gorgeous brown/pink nude shade that looks so flattering and natural when on. Definitely a shade I will repurchase when it runs out. Which is a big deal for me because I usually only wear red/berry toned lipsticks. 

Okay, so the last beauty item I have adored this month is Benefit's Rollar Lash which, if I'm honest, is a little more pricey than what I would normally spend on a mascara, but, I have absolutely loved it and it definitely is worth every single penny. 

TV/Film 

The tv show that I have loved the most this month is Pretty Little Liars. I have loved this show for 5 years now, and not a single episode has ever disappointed me. I am in love.

A movie I have loved this month is a movie called Wish I was Here, it is a Zach Braff movie and it's just a beautiful film to watch. It's funny and emotional and the storyline is just really nice to watch. 

Music 

My music favourites will always be The Ghost Inside, they are without a doubt my favourite band, everything I have heard by them is brilliant and they never disappoint me. 

But, as a new one, I have loved Happy Song by Bring Me the Horizon. I didn't expect to because most of the people I know who listened to it before me said it was a really bad song, but as you will know from my review on it, I adored it. 

Another band I have loved listening to this month is Architects. I never get butterflies from listening to a band but their album Lost Forever//Lost Together is truly beautiful and I have really enjoyed listening to it this month. 

Youtubers

When I think about what youtubers I have enjoyed this month, there are only a few that come to mind. and those are:

• EssieButton - I only discovered Estée last month but I have really enjoyed watching her new and old videos this month, her voice is so calming to listen to and the quality of her videos is amazing. 
• VelvetGh0st - I have loved Gabby for over a year now and her videos never fail to make me smile, although, I think the way she has changed her life around and handled everything she has gone through over the last couple of months really is something to be admired. 
• Lucy&Lydia - These two are the happiest people I watch on the internet, and although their content is pretty much the same as most female youtubers, their happiness and chemistry just makes their videos something I have to watch because I just know I will feel insanely happy afterwards. 
• and, PointlessBlogVlogs. - Not the greatest youtuber atm, the content on his main channel has lacked so much, but, his vlog channel is something I watch every night. I love how happy and enthusiastic he is. I have literally watched every single video he has released this month on this channel, loved them all. 

okay, that is is from me. 

thanks for reading, xoxo.

Inside Out Review

This review does contain a few spoilers. I wanted to avoid them but it really just can't helped with this movie. I will make the spoilers obvious though so if you don't want to see them, you can ignore them.

I really do not want to ruin this movie for anyone because in all honesty, it is a good film. However, it is definitely not as good as it looked on the adverts.

I walked to the cinema so fast, I was so insanely excited to watch this movie ok. And, if I'm being completely honest, I have never been so bored watching an animation before, especially a Disney animation.

Maybe this movie just had too much hype surrounding it? i don't know because I don't like frozen but I wasn't bored watching that.

Right, it started off really well, the story was so lovely to begin with. It shown Riley as a baby and how the emotions came into it all, and it was quite funny. I think the main problem with this movie is that it is based around Riley aged 11. The movie was completely about the emotions learning to control themselves and run a child properly. which does sound like a good plot, if it had been done at the right time in a child's life. I think the movie would have been a lot better if it had been based in a time when a kid is really learning about their emotions properly and going through puberty.

Okay, so the main part of the story is the fact that joy and sadness get sucked up the pipe that takes the memories from the day to longterm memory. So sadness and joy then have to get back to headquarters to save Riley from becoming a recluse because she is being ran by anger, fear and disgust. And it was SO repetitive. Like, they tried to get back and it failed, they tried again, it failed. They then got lost. Then they get lost again. Then they find a new way to get back, that doesn't work out. It was like every new method they had to get back failed multiple times before it worked out - which as a storyline, isn't very entertaining and it very boring to watch.

Now, I know a lot of people go to watch this movie for a happy, funny family movie and I hate it break it to every single person that reads this, but this movie is far from that. This movie is actually pretty upsetting. these emotions can literally only be what they are named, sadness can only be sad, anger can only be angry, joy can only be happy etc, but, joy learns to be sad in this movie. [SPOILER] My favourite character was thrown in part way into the movie, given an amazing, touching and sad back story, promises were thrown his way, he was an insanely kind character and then he is killed off.  How is that suitable for children? Kids films are meant to be happy and have a really good moral. The only moral to this movie is that sadness runs your life and unless you learn to cry,  you will never be okay.
What kind of lesson is that for a child?
I truly believe that if you go to watch this movie with an open mind, preferably without having seen anything about the movie then you will enjoy it a lot more than someone who goes hoping to see a happy, funny movie. I wouldn't say that the movie is awful, but it's certainly not one I'd pay to see again.

What university is like when you have anxiety.

*Disclaimer* this is based on my own personal experience and shouldn't be used as a reference on deciding whether or not you should go to university if you have anxiety. Plenty of people go to university with anxiety and find people who are in the same boat as them and they become fast friends.

When people think of university, they think of making friends with their flatmates, getting drunk all the time, staying up late eating pizza and drinking vodka, going out to different clubs every night. But what rarely gets addressed is what it's like to go to university when you have anxiety.
University with anxiety is like getting thrown into a swimming pool at the deep end after 2 swimming lessons - you're a bit prepared but when it happens you feel like you're drowning.

Before I started university I told myself that it was going to be my year of changing everything, I was going to make friends and join societies and be a happier person. But, little did I know that it would be the opposite. University has brought me nothing but stress and loneliness.When I met my tutor group, I tried to communicate but just couldn't bring myself to say anything to them. But if I'm honest, none of them seemed like people who I could get on with very well anyway. However, I did make two friends at university, Luci and Jake. During the first few days of lectures, I'd seen  Luci about and thought that she seemed like someone I could be friends with, and then on the thursday, I had my first lesson with my tutor and my tutor group and she walked in and got sat with me, said she had missed induction week. After that we were inseperable in lessons and often thought of together by most tutors, although I do think this was down to us both having brightly coloured, ever changing hair throughout the whole year. Luci is amazing, she has a wonderful personality but because of my anxiety, I find myself not knowing what to say to her most of the time so 75% of our conversations are about lectures and work. She is someone I spend most of my time wishing I was closer to, someone I wish I could call my best friend cos fuck, I haven't had one of those in 4 years. My other friend, Jake, he introduced himself to me (and later told me that he planned out how he was going to introduce himself to me) and in all honesty, I found it easier to talk to Jake because he treats everyone like he is already friends with them and that's great to me because it means i get to skip the awkward introductions (Although, Jake left university after 7 months so that friendship didn't last that long). Okay, so throughout the whole year, it was nice knowing I had friends but during the anxiety attacks knowing I had friends but not knowing how to talk to them about it fucking sucks and tbh, probably made it worse.

So flat parties. meant to be insanely good right? well, they kinda are. A bunch of drunk people drinking more alcohol and singing that stupid song while someone downs their drink, getting everyone to pour some of their drink into a big jug and getting everyone to down as much as they can. First one I went to was great but I think that was because one of the people I lived with was there and this was in the first week so she still pretended that we had the potential to be friends. The next one however, was a bummer - barely anyone turned up so I got ignored most of the night - possibly because anxiety stopped me having the guts to talk to anyone. 

Another problem I faced at university was my work. It was never too difficult but there were plenty of times that I had my doubts that my work was good enough and because of anxiety, I couldn't go to my tutor and ask for help. I could never go to my tutor with any problems or doubts that I had which was a real shame because she was lovely. There were plenty of times that she would ask me if everything was going okay and even if I was close to tears I still couldn't bring myself to admit that I felt like I was falling apart.  

University isn't all bad though, despite my anxiety, I did have a lovely year. One of my best memories was the day I spent out with Luci, it was after university had finished but I'm still going to count it. So, me and Luci went to mini golf and then we spent the rest of the day wondering around the city. I had spent the whole right before completely worried about what was going to happen, whether or not I'd have the guts to say anything to her, trying to plan out what I would say to her. And, I guess it payed off because we had a really lovely day together. 

Throughout the year, anxiety has prevented me from doing a hell of a lot at university and i can honestly say that it isn't the same for everyone. I just thought I'd share my personal experience.

xox

Review of Parkway Drive - Vice Grip

This has been a long time coming. They released this song like what, a month ago?
but once again, much like the bring me the horizon review, this is a first reaction review, meaning that I'm listening to this song for the first time while I write the review.

Parkway Drive are a band that I have admired for a long time now so not listening to this song sooner was a difficult task, took a hell of a lot of self control. Really hoping I'll like this song.

okay, the intro is very promising. Instrumentally the intro is brilliant, vocally the intro is brilliant. So far, I can't fault the song. this review is probably going to be very short because I can't just keep repeating "this is sick" haha. I think I'll just read the lyrics, maybe that'll pack the review out a little bit. okay so lyrically the song is great, a lot of it is very repetitive but most choruses are. The verses however, are actually pretty good. the lyrics are very relateable and I think a lot of people will listen to this song just to feel like there are people out there that know and understand them and what they're going through which i think is nice. I think it's really lovely when bands are able to have that kind of connection with their fans.
I think this is going to be the end of this one because there isn't much else I can say about this song. It's brilliant, check it out if you haven't already.

First reaction to Bring Me the Horizon - Happy Song & Throne

This is a post that has literally been in my drafts since happy song got released and until now I haven't listened to it  because I wanted this post to be a "first reaction" and tbh, if it wasn't for the fact that they have just released the first official single off of their new album, I probably still wouldn't have wrote this post.


So this is like a 4 minute song or something and judging by the beginning, I think I'm really going to enjoy it. I wasn't really holding much hope for the album because of all of the butt hurt fans that still live in 2008. But, I'm impressed. I really enjoyed the mellow songs on Sempiternal. I really like the lyrics too. I haven't had a proper look at them but they're pretty sweet. I am absolutely loving the instrumental aspects of this track, so fucking sick. Yep, I'm really liking this song, it's very similar to sempiternal at the end of the track. but yeah, second song released off the new album and I can honestly say that I'm looking forward to it, definitely think I'll be buying this album when it's released.

Okay, time to listen to the first official single off of the album - Throne.
I'm not 100% loving the intro, oli's vocals are brilliant - as always. the lyrics are pretty good. I'm really not a fan of the song instrumentally though. but anything with techno robot shit in, I've never been a fan of. This song is very repetative and a little basic/simple for my liking however I did read the interview that they did with Rolling Stone and Jordan Fish said himself that this song is the most simple one that they wrote for the new album.
I'm going to give it another listen but only because I actually want to watch the video this time.
not a fan of the video but after listening to the song a second time, I kinda like the drumming. But I think that might just be the only instrument that sounds good in the whole song. I think I would like oli's vocals a lot more if he didn't sound so grisly but that is probably due to years of screaming badly (not saying his "screaming" was bad, just that his technique wasn't great and has quite obviously ruined his vocals and it will take a while for his voice to go back to normal).

xox

Questions and answers...

Okay, so this is basically an updated "about me" because I haven't done one since I started this blog two years ago. I basically looked through a bunch of quesiton and answer posts off of other peoples blogs and threw together a nice long list of questions.

Me.

1. Do you have any siblings?
   I do yeah, I have two brothers and two sisters. 
2. How old are you? 
   I am 19 :)
3. What's your height? 
   I think I'm 5"6
4. Do you workout?
    Kinda, I try to do as many sit-ups and crunches as I can everyday, and I also try and walk instead of using trains/buses as much as I can. 
5. Do you have any pets?  
   I don't no, although I did had a bunny called Buttons when I was younger and I have always lived with dogs as my parents always have them. I don't live at home anymore though and I can't have pets in my flat.
6. What do you enjoy doing in your spare time?  
   drawing, singing, baking and binge watch netflix. 
7. What do you feel is your greatest achievment? 
   I got a distinction in my grade 5 singing exam, and an A* in my music performance assessment. Which is pretty good for me because I'm not very lucky when it comes to getting good grades.
8. What do you value most in life? 
   My family 
9. What do you do? 
   I'm at uni, but I'm also looking for a part-time job.
10. What is your dream job? 
    I'm not completely sure. I'd love to sing, that's my biggest dream, but, my main dream job is any career that I can help people in. I can't imagine myself sitting behind a desk because of my knee problem so idfk. Maybe I'll try out youtube, that would be perfect for me. 
11. What did you take for your GCSE'S/in college? 
    For my GCSE's, I took catering, media studies and music. and in college I did applied science - boring af. 
12. Do you make good grades? 
    no. I am one of them highly unfortunate people who studies their ass off and still gets awful grades. 
13. Do you want to get married later on in life? 
    Not particularly. I don't like to feel trapped and that's basically what a marriage is, and tbh, I'd rather not be trapped with one person for the rest of my life, I'd end up spending every day riddled with anxiety. 
14. Do you have any phobias? 
    fucking..omg, yes. Heights are just, ew. And spiders, moths and daddy long legs, I'd rather not. 
15. Have you ever been abroad? 
    nope *sigh*

Beauty/Shopping. 

1. Heels or flats? 
   I adore wearing heels but fuck, they hurt far too much so imma go with flats.
2. Where do you buy most of your clothes from? 
   As I'm a student, I'm therefore a poor fucker and can only afford to buy clothes from primark, new look and H&M. 
3. Favourite drugstore makeup brand? 
   Rimmel London and Maybelline cosmetics. 
4. Favourite nail polish brand? 
   Barry M. 
5. What was your first makeup item? I think it was a Barry M lipgloss or something. 
6. At what age did you start wearing makeup? 
   I was either 12 or 13, started off basic with a pretty crappy eyeliner and mascara. 
7. Do you wear falsies? If so which brand? 
   nope. 
8. How do you take care of your hair? 
   I make sure I wash it every 4 days because then it's still getting it's natural oils that it needs, but it's always getting kept clean - don't want to wash it too often. I also use two hair serums, a dove one (that isn't available in the UK, I got mine in a poundshop because the langauge on the bottle is in a different language) and a john freida one. I also make sure to use a deep conditioning hair mask every week and, I mainly use one called Roots from Lush. I'm not the best at caring for my hair though as I do dye my hair quite a lot. 
9. Whats the colour of your natural hair? 
   I think my natural colour is a mousy brown. 
10. What are your views on plastic surgery? 
    if it's what makes you happy then go for it, just don't go too far...one lip filler is fine, it looks nice, but 5 looks tacky - know the limit. But ye, I'm considering it myself. 
11. Do you bite your nails? 
    ew no. 

Random Bits and Bobs

1. Which five celebs would be on your "list"? 
   Ryan Reynalds, Ryan Kwanten, Ruby Rose, Shay Mitchell, Jensen Ackles. - this was so difficult because like, what about Jude Law? Alex Pettyfer? Lily Collins? 
2. Do you watch any american tv, if so what is your favourite? 
   I don't want any reality shows but I quite like watching American shows like pretty little liars, supernatural, chuck, once upon a time and agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. 
3. What is your favourite type of sandwhich? 
   Chicken salad - how boring omg. 
4. What wesbite do you visit the most besides youtube, blogger & facebook? 
   tumblr. Tumblr takes over my life. I go on it non stop for days and then have like a months break and then go back to it again for days on end, probably why i have hardy any followers on it 
5. What is your favourite disney film? 
   gonna be completely honest here, I am not the biggest fan of disney movies. Although I do quite like tarzan and big hero 6.
6. Whats your favourite desert? 
   cheesecake for definite. 
7. Do you drink juice? 
   doesn't everyone? 
8. What's your favourite movie?  
   What a horrible question. 
9. If you could move anywhere, where would it be? 
   America, or Australia. lovely weather and better than the UK.
10. Favourite colour? 
    Blue
11. Do you drink energy drinks? 
    When I'm getting tattooed ye
12. Do you drink coffee? 
    sometimes
13. If you could have a dinner party with 5 celebrities, dead or alive, who would you invite? 
    Sam Smith, Robin Williams, Miley Cyrus, Norman Reedus, Ashley Benson

Okay, this took a very long time. a lot longer than I expected...

XOX.

Marvels Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Okay, so after everything I was watching finished, I needed something new to watch. And after scouring netflix for a good hour, I re-found Marvels Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. This show is one I saw advertised on sky many times and never thought much of, i'm not sure why though because it did look good, I wanted to watch it but I didn't expect much from it and a show like that doesn't really stick in your head but, with nothing else to watch I thought "why not". I stuck it on and I have to admit, I binge watched it. I managed to get through both seasons in a week. Which isn't that bad in all honesty, when I first started watching Pretty Little Liars back in 2010, I binge watched season 1a in one day.
But anyway, back to Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. So yeah, I wasn't expecting much but I was really wrong to think that way. It is incredible. and I can not wait for season 3. The story line, insane, the characters, so likable. Even the villains are likable. The twists at the end of both seasons were both so unexpected. I have literally adored every episode. I started watching it with my friend and every time I watched an episode without them, I'd run to them like "you missed one hell of an episode" and watch it again with them. It's just so easy to get hooked on. Such good story lines and character profiles. I literally just can't get over how good it is. And, the thing that drew my in straight away is Skye. Skye is literally my favourite name, the name I want to name my first born girl and the main female of the show having that name excited me.

Part of me wants to post and rant about everything that happens but I don't want to ruin it for people that haven't watched it yet so I'm going to leave this post here. Apologies to those of you who have not watched it yet for mentioning the twists but let's be honest, every good show has a big plot twist at the end of every season...

xox.

10 years time

I don't know how many of you will have seen Alfie's video the other day. But, his video was a video response to the question that Will asked at the end of his video: Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?
And, this got me thinking quite a lot, because when I was younger I used to plan my life. I knew what job I wanted, I knew how many kids I was going to have - and their names, I knew that I was going to get married - and a lot of the details of that wedding, I knew where I was going to live, what pets I was going to have, to be completely honest, I even knew how long I wanted to live for. I used to tell myself that I would die at around 60 - naturally or self inflicted - simply because I didn't want to live long enough for any life altering diseases to take over. But, now that I'm older I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I'm currently at university studying a pretty big subject, a subject that can open a lot of doors but I don't even know if I want a career in this area. I don't know where I want to live - although I do know it won't be in Liverpool (I hope). and to be completely honest, not knowing kinda scares me. I feel as though, at the age of 19, I should know what I want to do with my life. I mean, I turn 20 this year and I've never even had a job. It's time for me to grow up and start a career but I have no idea what I want it to be in. I feel as though I have no time for a job, university takes up all of my time but having a job is essential for life, I need a job for the experience, I need a job so that when I finish university I have something to fall into, a job to keep me going, income so that I can afford a place to live.
I have no idea what career I will have. Maybe tattooing, maybe piercing, maybe youtube, maybe a travel agent, maybe I'll live my dream of singing for my career - whether that's celebrity status or cruise ship singing, if I sing as my career, I can guarantee that I am happy with my job.
In ten years time, will I be married? no, probably not. I have decided that marriage is not for me, I don't want to be attached to someone in that way. I don't like feeling trapped and that is what marriage is. It's a trap, get married and you have to pay to leave the person you're with. You're trapped with that person for life. I like knowing that I can leave someone if I decide I'm not happy, without having to pay.
In ten years time I would like to have children. But, it probably won't happen. I will not have children until I am sure that I have enough to be able to look after a child. I want a nice house and a good job. And it might sound selfish, but I want to be able to travel, have some proper time to myself and whoever I am with before I have children. Children tie you down, tie you to one place, and I want to live before I decide to give life to another.
There are only a few things that I am certain on, and they are that I will have my pug, I will have a pet pug called Peanut. I will have my Alaskan Malamute (not sure on her name yet). I will have my dogs, I will have the person I want to spend my life with - whether that's the person I'm with now or someone else, I will be happy and I will be surrounded by my family and the people who care about me and hopefully I will have had a short period of time that is stress free.

I feel as this post lacked fluidity but I really had no idea how to word everything that is flying around in my head. There are so many things I want but realistically won't have - like a nice big house and all the tattoos I want, and there are a lot of things I hope to not have but probably will - like a shitty job & body. But that's just life. It's pretty difficult to say where you hope to be in ten years. Because if you get your hopes up and it doesn't turn out how you wanted, you'll be disappointed even if your life turns out pretty great. Anyway, I hope this wasn't too boring, I know I haven't posted in a while but I've not been very well lately and the days were I wasn't sick, I wasn't in the right frame of mind to post anything that anyone would enjoy.
Love & Peace, Lindsey xo

Goodbye Terry.

I've not posted in a while for personal reasons but I thought I'd post a nice quick update because I'm feeling like I need to get a few things out.
As most of you probably know, the world lost one of its greatest, most inspirational authors today. Terry Pratchett has sadly passed away. And learning about this today made me think so much about my childhood.
There are quite a few things that no-one knows about me and for the sake of this post, I'm going to share one of those things now.
Growing up I used to write a heck load of stories and comic strips. Most of them were fantasy/sci-fi based the rest were horror/mysteries. I loved to write about monsters and alternate universes, death, murder and serial killers (Jack the Ripper being my biggest inspiration for the serial killer stories, the Yorkshire ripper being another inspiration). Anything I found interesting to read, I loved to write about. I had notebooks filled with stories. I had diaries that I used to write in. But I never wrote the diaries about my day, they were always about my characters day. My biggest influences for these stories were Terry Pratchett and Darren Shan. Another thing that no-one knows is that when I read a book, I imagine all of the details, all of the small things, I take them all into consideration in my imagination, say there's a monster, not only would I imagine what that creature looked like, I'd imagine the situation, the scene, I'd imagine what state the creature is in, is it out of breath, is it sweating, is it angry, how angry is it?, is it covered in a liquid? what liquid, bile? blood? vomit? and and sometimes, I'd draw what I was imagining. Drawing the creatures that other people imagined was probably one of my favourite things to do. But, I was so ashamed of doing it that I would draw it and then throw it away so that no-one else saw it. I used to want to be an author, or an illustrator, I used to want to write my own stories and draw the illustrations that would accompany them. That was a dream of mine, but one I never shared. I don't quite know why this is something I have never shared with anyone. I'm not exactly ashamed of doing these things or wanting those things, I guess I just didn't think anyone would understand. But, one of my inspirations has died today. And, to me, that's a sign. Even the greatest of people don't live forever, but they sure do last forever. Terry Pratchett will last forever in history, he will always be remembered, his stories will always be read and passed around, just like Shakespear and Grimm, and Conan Doyle. He will be forever loved and remembered. Terry was an inspirational man. Despite his terrible disease, he continued to create, he wrote stories that inspired and entertained the world and I think that if a man so ordinary, so normal, can become someone so important to so many people then what's to stop anyone else doing the same? The world is full of so many people, and at least one of them is going to be the next person to inspire the world. So many people are going to be known, known for their art, for their achievements and for their personality and I want to be one of those people. I want to leave my mark on the world and inspire millions, just like Terry did. I don't want to die, I want to die and be remembered by millions.

Sorry for the rather messy post. I didn't really think much about it before posting it. I just thought that I needed to get this out, and that this was the best place to do so.

love and peace, Lindsey xo

Monthly favourites/Collective Haul!

I know that it's not quite the end of the month but we're two days away from the end of February so I thought I'd post this now because, this is a post I've been really excited about posting. It's going to contain all of the small bits and bobs I've loved and bought this month.

Music! 

Okay, so the first thing I've loved this month is FourFiveSeconds by Rihanna, Kanye West and Paul McCartney. I heard this sound the day that the video was released and adored it, listened to it on repeat for about half an hour and decided to buy it and I had it on repeat for the rest of the day. Insanely good song. I think it would be a lot better without Kanye though but whatever. If you've not heard it, I strongly recommend that you do.

Random bits & bobs!

The first thing I bought this month for myself that wasn't food was this hair dye. The colour I bought was Bubblegum Blue. And although it has not came out the correct colour (due to a bad bleaching job) I would still recommend this dye. My hair came out a gorgeous blue/green colour so even though it's not the blue I bought the dye for, it's still came out a nice colour. I bought this box of 4 from Amazon for £10, which is an absolute bargain considering the individual tubes are £4 each.

These bedsheets are gorgeous! I loove hedgehogs so these were just (almost) perfect for me. (to have been perfect it would have had to have had pugs on it) But anyway, I bought these for about £9 from Primark which was an insanely good price for bed sheets, especially seen as they're really good quality as well.

Makeup!

I had been wanting to try out this foundation for a very long time. And I must admit, I am glad I got it. It's a really good foundation considering the price. The coverage is good although, it's quite thin so it does requite some layering. Although I do think that I'll try a different foundation next time I need to buy some. I bought this from Superdrug for £7.

(does nail polish count as makeup?) 

This was quite an impulsive purchase. I had been after a grey nail polish for a long time, and hadn't found one that was a shade that I liked. But, I was in tesco, and I happened to go past the Barry M counter and saw this and I just had to buy it. I'd prefer a matte one but a matte top coat is easy to come across these days so it doesn't bother me too much especially seen as I love it as it is. It dries super fast which is a bonus as well. I do two coats which is more than enough for a nice even coverage. Barry M nail polish never fails me. I bought this for £4.

Clothes & Accessories!

I had been after a new bag for a while and I went into new look and this bag instantly jumped out at me. It was the perfect size for what I needed it for and it's gorgeous. I use this bag all the time and would not be without it. I paid £23 for this bag.

As you all know, I have been planning on joining the gym and as motivation, I bought some gym clothes. I bought this vest and a sports bra but I won't be posting a picture of the bra on here. I am in love with this top and can not wait to wear it for the gym or anything I choose to wear it for. I bought this vest for £22. And I bought the bra for £22 as well. I ordered both items off of amazon. I would have bought the bra elsewhere but, as my bra size is too awkward to buy in a store, I had to order it online.

Happy New Year

So on the 22nd of this month, Liverpool had it's annual Chinese New Year parade. So obviously I went and picked up a few things before watching the parade, in the pouring rain might I add. I got absolutely soaked but it was completely worth it because it was such a good morning.

So the first thing I bought was the classic Chinese New Year parade dragon. I just had to have one of these because I used to get them from school when I was younger but they always got ruined.

The second thing I picked up was this lucky buddah charm. I think it's absolutely gorgeous. At the minute he's hung on my memory board but when I get a car he'll definitely be in there. 

The last thing I picked up was the Chinese lucky coins in a red ribbon. They did have these in gold but I'm more of a silver person so I picked it up in silver. I've worn these on a choker a couple of times since I got it and it looks so beautiful, but right now it's in my purse. You can never have enough luck! 

The Vampire Diaries quick (but long) summary and review.

Okay, I know I recently did a review but, I just watched the latest episode so I felt like an update was needed.

Okay, so the episode started with a dream/flashback that Caroline was having, which was really sad/cute. In the dream, Caroline had just fallen off her bike, and Liz is putting a bandage on her cut, and Caroline asks her mum about death, Liz tells Caroline that it'll be a very long time before she dies, and Caroline asks Liz what will happen if she dies and Caroline is left alone, and Liz says that when that happens, Caroline will be all grown up and won't need her anymore, to which Caroline replies with "I think I'll always need you". Caroline wakes up and goes to get water. She finds Damon in the kitchen struggling to write his speech for the funeral. Caroline is rude to Damon, not realising that he also needs some support as he really cared about Liz, in return, he is an ass to Caroline by telling her the harsh truth, that today would be okay because she would have all her friends around her, scared to leave her alone, and that the hardest day would be next week, when she'd be all alone. This makes Caroline think.
Caroline then gives all of her friends different jobs to do for the preparation for the funeral, and asks Elena to go with her to buy the coffin.
It then goes to Bonnie, who now has magic and is celebrating that she will later in the day, be going home.
It then cuts to Jo and Alaric, Jo is throwing up because she has food poisoning. Kai then knocks on the door, saying that because they cheated the merge by using the wrong twin, he is now dying and asks for Jo's help. He explains that if he dies, so does Joe, their father, sister and the rest of their coven, this convinces Jo to help Kai.
Damon then has a flashback to just before his mothers funeral when he is talking to 10 year old Stefan about his speech. After his flashback, Stefan asks Damon for advice about Caroline, Damon tells Stefan that Caroline is looking for something real, and if Stefan doesn't think that Caroline is "the one"  then he should break it off with her before it hurts her even more, but to not do it today because of the funeral.
It then goes to Caroline and Elena who have a similar conversation as Caroline tells Elena that she and Stefan kissed, and wants to talk to him about it but doesn't know when to do it. Elena tells Caroline to do it tomorrow.
It then goes back to Jo and Kai. Jo does a full medical checkup on Kai and says that there is nothing medically wrong with him, Kai then throws up, falling forward and grabbing Jo for support so that he doesn't fall, as he does this, he takes away some of Jo's magic and instantly feels better. This is when Kai discovers that in order to save him from dying, he needs to have Jo's magic. But, because Alaric isn't happy about this, Kai has to explain that if he dies, all of the prison worlds will collapse.
Bonnie is then shown in the cave under the soon to be eclipse preparing to go back to the normal world. But, the world changes around her.
Damon is then shown having a flashback to after his mothers funeral were he met up with an upset Stefan who asks why he didn't show up to their mothers funeral. Damon claims he didn't go because he didn't know what to say. Stefan replies with "you could have just said goodbye"
It then shows Alaric talking to Jo about what Kai has told them. He tells her that he'll love her no matter what she decides to do. and that he'll love her even without her magic.

The funeral. 
Caroline is stood in front of her mothers open coffin and Stefan walks in. She asks him were she stands with him and he explains that he doesn't think that it is an appropriate time to talk about it, suggesting they talk about it tomorrow. He then leaves and Caroline goes over to her mother and starts crying and says "I'm going to be alright mum, I promise, everything will be alright after today"

It then shows Bonnie exploring the prison world she has been dropped in. As she's walking around through the snow, she finds footprints in the snow that lead to a house. She goes in and uses her magic to turn on the light. Only one light turns on so she goes into that room. While in there, she finds a diary with an entry that explains the northern lights and basically, that they act like a portal out of the prison just like the eclipse did. The diary entry was dated 1903.

The funeral 
The first thing shown in this scene is technically not the funeral but outside. As it shows Tyler turning up to the funeral drunk and Matt turning him away explaining that he understands and sympathises with all the crap he's going through, but Caroline doesn't deserve him bringing all of his crap there.
The first thing that is shown of the actual funeral is the display that the police officers put on to show their respect to Liz. The next thing that is shown is Damon's speech. In his speech, Damon tells Caroline everything that her mother had told him in her last minutes. Caroline then sings a song dedicated to her mother. During this, Stefan realises his feelings for her. (I cried through the whole ceremony, it was insanely emotional)
It then goes to the wake after the funeral. The first thing shown is Matt going and sitting down with Tyler and Tyler explaining that he's now sober. Matt then says that he was moved by the way the police honored Liz and that he wanted to be a part of something like that, so he got an application for himself and Tyler for the police training programme. Caroline leaves the wake early. Elena tries to stop her, Caroline thanks Elena for everything she has done for her that day and say's she'll never forget it and then leaves. Elena then realises how weird Caroline has been being that day.

(I swear this is nearly finished. I didn't think it would be this long) 

Bonnie is then shown exploring the house she found. She finds a photo frame that has a picture of Damon in one side and a picture of Stefan in the other. I think this is were she realises that she's in their old home. 

Jo gives Kai her magic causing the prison worlds to shift between one another. When back in the prison world she was originally in, Bonnie notices the time and realises she only has a few minutes to complete the spell for her to go back home. But as she's running back to the cave, the worlds continue to shift between one another. When she gets back to the cave, she's in 1903 again and says that the nothern lights work the same as the eclipse so she should be able to do the spell still. After completing the spell, just before she gets pulled out of prison, a women appears asking Bonnie who she is. Bonnie asks the women the same question, but before she could get an answer, she's pulled out of prison. Little does she know, the video recorder she has been using recorded the whole thing as she forgot to turn it off when she left Damon and Stefan's old home. (this is revealed until the end of the episode though, but I'm mentioning it here to make explaining things easier later)
Kai is then shown thanking Jo for giving him her magic, and then whispering something in her ear, then saying "have a nice life sissie" and leaving. Alaric asks Jo what Kai had said, and she says that she wasn't sick because of food poisoning, she's pregnant (yay).  Alaric then proposes and explains that he bought the ring after her brother died, and that he had planned on proposing that morning but she had been ill, explaining that it wasn't the pity proposal that Jo thought it was. Jo says yes! (obviously)
Damon and Stefan are then shown discussing their mothers funeral. But end up talking about Caroline. Stefan explains that although he has no way of explaining how he feels for her now, he believes that it could turn into something better than he has had before. Damon tells Stefan that he should go and tell her.

Caroline is shown getting home and sorting out some things in her mothers house. Elena then turns up and tells Caroline that she knows that she's planning on turning off her humanity switch. After they argue the topic for a few minutes, Elena tells Caroline that she's not going to let her turn off her humanity. Caroline snaps Elena's neck and says "that's not your choice to make".

Damon is then shown in his home trying to get in touch with Elena. But, as he walks into the kitchen. He is taken aback by the pancakes that are sitting on a plate on the island. he then says "bonnie" to which she replies with "the one and only". Damon smiles at her and opens up his arms. She runs over to him and jumps into his arms for a hug.
When Stefan gets to Caroline's home, he finds Elena unconscious on the floor and calls for Caroline and gets no answer.
It then goes back to Damon and Bonnie. Damon is holding the picture frame that Bonnie found and Bonnie shows him the recording. They pause the video on the woman's face and the episode ends with Damon looking at the woman and saying "oh my god, that's my mother".


Over all, I think the episode was amazing. Which is pretty amazing as I wasn't too impressed with the storyline so far. I'm glad that Bonnie is back, she's my favourite character and I was getting pretty bored with her being stuck in prison. They need to try and keep her alive and with her friends for a while now because her dying and coming back to life all the time is getting a bit boring.
I really do not like Caroline and Stefan as a couple but I think that with her turning off her humanity, it won't bother me too much cos she won't be interested in him anyway. I think the Jo and Alaric storyline is amazing aswell. Their child will be fucking adorable and their wedding will be magical. Really looking forward to the next episode as the preview looked really good! anyway, enough from me, this post is long enough.
If you enjoyed this, feel free to let me know. and let me know if you didn't aswell.
Also, if anyone has any suggestions for a show for me to watch, let me know because I have nothing else to watch now.